A few weeks ago I was wandering through the Chinglish-rich shops on NanLouGuXiang when I came across a basket of stuffed dice. The dice had various themes and were used as some sort of truth-or-dare game, where one has to perform the task that appears on the face of the dice.
Always wanting to mix things up, I switched two pairs of dice and bought one from each pair. This means I had one “naughty” die, with body parts that would be used to perform the task like “Ear” and “Buns”, and one “misogynistic” die, with tasks such as “Wash Clothes” and Listen Order.”
A sample set of five rolls, just now attempted in my room, yielded the following permutations:
WASH DISHES with ANYPART
COOK with LEG
WASH CLOTHES with BUNS
SWEEP GROUND with BREASTS
STAY with LIP
Some might say that the dice are erratic, or that there is no deeper meaning to their results. I would argue that actually the dice tell us something very important: if reality in ever any way reflects what appears on the dice, it is time to run.